Monthly Archives: October 2015

Muslim American Organization Demands Clarity on Clear Statement

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The Muslim American Council on Clarifying Clear Statements (MACCCS) is demanding answers after presidential nominee Ted Jackovitch stated in his latest speech that he “hates Muslims and wants them to die.”  Referring to Jackovitch’s statement, ACCCS responded saying, “it is unclear what he meant by this statement.  Does he mean vitriol, contempt, despise, or abhor?  And does he mean death as in fatal?  These answers are critical in our understanding of his seemingly apparent dislike of our community.”

President of the MACCCS, AbdulMunir Ghafar Sultan Qaboos Muhsen Jaffar Fakhara Khara, who at the time of the Jackovitch’s speech was studying for his upcoming GRE exam, stated that, “it’s really hard to compile a catalogue of groups that loathe Muslims when they are so subtle about it.  I wish they could be more explicit about their hatred so we know where we stand.”

Jackovitch’s PR team, receiving a MACCCS press release in advance of the public release, responded stating that, Jackovitch has repeatedly clarified his hatred for Muslims.  According to his team, he stated that, “I want it to be clear that I hate Muslims.  Like I really hate them.  And now, because of their inability to understand my obvious hatred, I hate them even more.  What else can I do to show them how much I hate them?  Unfortunately, I think the only other way will be to commit nationwide hate crimes, which like everything else they don’t understand will also be misunderstood as something that happened because their mosque open house started late.  For the sake of clarity once more, let me say, I hate you all again and I hate you when I see you at the library, the grocery store, restaurants and/or any other place where it is clear that you are still alive and breathing.”

In response to Jackovitch’s statement, the MACCCS released an election guide titled, How to Know When a Prospective Presidential Candidate Hates Muslims: A Guide to Understanding Things That Shouldn’t Actually Need an Explanation.  The goal of the manual is to clarify the clarity of the clear statements that do not need clarification but still get clarified.  The guide can be downloaded at http://www.whydontyouunderstandshit.com

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