In response to this article arguing that Muslims should vote for Hillary or be responsible for their own demise, the Muslim Bureau of Low Quality Investigative Reporting recently interviewed Muslim victims of the War on Terror to gather their perspectives on the upcoming elections.

“I’m excited about the possibility staying at Guantanamo Bay, the country’s exclusive Muslim prison, even longer than I thought.  If Trump gets elected, I’ll never leave and if Hillary gets elected, I’ll be imprisoned for life.  You can’t imagine how different it feels to think about being detained undefinitely versus indefinitely.   Regardless of who becomes president next, I just hope the food gets better and that eventually my Muslim American brethren will join me down here.  I’m sure that either candidate will gladly make that happen and for this, I am grateful.”
~Ahmed Mohamed Luqman Ali Baba Sultan, Guantanamo Bay Prisoner #64

“There’s nothing more beautiful than the sounds of drones flying above my house at daybreak and it breaks my heart to think that this could one day end.  I also don’t understand all this talk about collateral damage; in my part of the world, we call it population control and the United States could not be more helpful in this regard.  I’m extremely optimistic about the American choices for President because I can pretty much guarantee that no matter who wins, that drones will prevail and that our inability to feel safe at any moment in time will be maintained.”
~Saeed Said Sayed Mahmoud Abu Mahmoud, Yemeni Citizen

“We’ve built a strong Muslim community here in Little Gitmo and I can’t thank the architects of the War on Terror enough for helping us facilitate this.  Now that we are poised to get a new President, I’m looking forward to being transferred to another illegally built prison without notice of any wrongdoing so I can do more networking.  I’m also looking forward to being sent to a private prison because I hear they are really nice!  I hope that Clinton and Trump will both commit to getting rid of the “balancers” in the prison now, because its so inconvenient having all these non-Muslims around.  How am I supposed to feel special when non-Muslims are getting the same treatment as I am?  I’m optimistic that both Trump and Clinton will strive hard to make sure the prison industrial complex is perpetuated and that I can continue to call these prisons my home.  After all, all these politicians are really trying to do is to solve the homelessness problem for minorities.  We should have enough gratitude to commend them for this.”
~Aabid Aqil Aqid Afraz Aiman Akbar Rahman, Communications Management Unit Prisoner #43

“I love it when American soldiers bring us gifts during Christmas time because it almost erases the fact that the U.S. government has killed half my family and pretty much  destroyed my whole country.  The troops have been in Iraq for so long that it would be hard to see them go and I’m glad I don’t even have to imagine this happening under Trump or Clinton.  And now with the revelation that the government has paid to have fake videos made of terrorist groups, I’m confident and relieved that the troops will stay even longer.  I’m glad that neither Trump nor Clinton poses a threat to the possibility of troops leaving Iraq as I really believe that America’s moral superiority will continue to save us the way it has for the last 13 years.”
~Arbaab Arbaz Arslan Arshad Asad Asghar Akbar Ayuub, Iraqi Citizen