FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
January 13th, 2017

The Muslim Coalition for Throwing Other Muslims Under the Bus (MCTOMUB) is excited to announce that we are recipients of a 200 million dollar grant for our “community” driven program aimed at helping communities received the help they didn’t know they needed.  More specifically, the money will be used to set up 20 pilot programs in cities with high concentrations of Muslims to convince members of the different communities that without knowing it, they were actually terrorists in training.  The programs that we plan to implement include one called, “Let’s be Honest,” where we will encourage members of the community to reveal their deepest, darkest, inner terrorist feelings in the context of our Unsafe Spaces program which seeks to eliminate the terrorist threat by getting everyone at the Mosque arrested.

The President of MCTOMUB, Latif Luqman Malik Mamdouh Misbah Nasib Nasah Nasim Thawab Thawban stated that, “we are proud to work with the US government on extending one of the best historical policies this country has ever seen.  It is especially empowering for us to be involved in the destruction of our own community because we were really starting to wonder where our tax dollars were going.  Now we can rest assure that what we pay in, gets returned, minus of course the mass incarceration the inevitably flows from our Unsafe Spaces program.  We are proud to be at this juncture of American history knowing that we too can play a special role in victimizing our own communities.”

The MCTOMUB is especially proud to receive this grant to work in our “community,” alongside other groups such as the Muslim Council on Criminalizing Other Muslims for Job Security (MCCOMJB) and the Foundation for Institutionalizing Islamophobia on the Local and Federal Level (FIILFL).  Together, we will work to build a strong foundation of anti-Muslim animus that is replicated under the guise of empowerment and resiliency of our communities.

Vice President of MCTOMUB, Adham Adnan Amro Assad Ashraf Badri Baha Baha Al-Din stated that, “we are hoping to use this opportunity to conduct massive political education outside on the grass because we don’t really know what grassroots means.  Moreover, we are also hoping that we can use the funding we’ve gained to truly build resiliency, by which I mean making sure Muslims aren’t vulnerable to Islam and therefore incapable of shredding their terrorist tendencies.  This funding gives us great hope of what’s to come and I truly thank the U.S. government for creating the conditions and policies that criminalize Muslims while also creating mechanisms for us to participate in our own criminalization.  If this isn’t an example of positive community partnerships from the government, than I don’t know what is.”

The MCTOMUB is expected to role out its first program in February which will be called, “No one told me I would grow up to be a terrorist.”