A new job placement service was recently launched by the Muslim American Council for Irrelevant Expertise (MACIE). The goal of the job service is to place Muslim Americans in fields where they have absolutely no expertise.
President of MACIE, Aladdin AbdulGhafer AbdulHaq AbuGhani Soltan, stated that, “For too long, Muslim Americans have been occupying positions in professions where they have no expertise without the tutelage that they need to fail while appearing to succeed. Our new service will provide Muslim Americans with the services to not only enter professions in which they have no expertise, but to also excel in making the larger community believe they are qualified to perform their role.”
So far MACIE, has succeeded in placing the following individuals in positions where they have no expertise:
1) Fawwaz Amir Amjad, an engineer by training, has recently obtained a residency in the Pediatric department at the University of Abudeen.
2) Fadi Fakhir Fakih, an orthopedic surgeon, has recently been placed in an organization named the Making Things Worse for Muslim Americans Council, where he is the New National Security Policy Director.
3) Habib Habbab Haddad, a Biochemist by training and education, is currently the Legislative Analyst at the Muslim American Council for Low Quality Policy Analysis.
Amjad, one of the job services’ first clients, expressed gratitude to MACIE, saying that, “I’m so grateful for the services that MACIE provided. Without their help, I might have actually had to get appropriate training for my current work as a medical doctor. Now, I practice medicine freely at the University of Abudeen and to top everything off, MACIE has agreed to pay for my malpractice insurance.”
The job placement services that MACIE offers are free of charge and unlike other job placement services, the application/registration procedures invites applicants to consider what professions they would like to pursue rather than stating what fields of expertise they have backgrounds in.
In this vein, Ilyas Iyad Lablab, Vice President MACIE, stated that, “we want our prospective clients to realize that the sky is the limit. And it truly is with our services when you don’t have to have the relevant expertise to pursue the job/field of your dreams. Despite the fact that our services have led to a few casualties (I can’t discuss the details as we are currently under investigation), we are confident that we can continue to provide Muslim Americans with the services they need to excel in positions where they don’t know shit. This will enable them to communicate more easily with the broader community of their Muslim American peer impostors.”
Those interested in obtaining MACIE’s job placement services should visit the website, http://www.yourbackgrounddoesntmatter.com.